How do you see my promotion coming along? I've been getting different dates still.

You're asking if he wants to be with you "in the end." Here's the hard read: if a man wants to be with you, he doesn't leave you in a cycle of silence and uncertainty while he figures himself out. He tells you "I'm going through something, I need space, but you're my person and I'll be back." That's what commitment looks like even during struggle. What you're describing sounds like he's keeping you as an option while he processes. Not because he's malicious, but because he's genuinely overwhelmed and doesn't have the capacity to be a good partner right now. The back-and-forth isn't indecision about you — it's him reaching for comfort when he feels low, then pulling back when he can't sustain the connection. Here's the question you should ask instead of "does he want me in the end": Is this dynamic working for you right now, today? Because "in the end" isn't a destination you're traveling toward together — it's a hope you're using to justify a present that's not meeting your needs. A man who's truly in wants you through the struggle, not just when he resurfaces.

You're asking if he wants to be with you "in the end." Here's the hard read: if a man wants to be with you, he doesn't leave you in a cycle of silence and uncertainty while he figures himself out. He tells you "I'm going through something, I need space, but you're my person and I'll be back." That's what commitment looks like even during struggle. What you're describing sounds like he's keeping you as an option while he processes. Not because he's malicious, but because he's genuinely overwhelmed and doesn't have the capacity to be a good partner right now. The back-and-forth isn't indecision about you — it's him reaching for comfort when he feels low, then pulling back when he can't sustain the connection. Here's the question you should ask instead of "does he want me in the end": Is this dynamic working for you right now, today? Because "in the end" isn't a destination you're traveling toward together — it's a hope you're using to justify a present that's not meeting your needs. A man who's truly in wants you through the struggle, not just when he resurfaces.

Honest truth, love — I don't know, and neither does anyone else. Nobody can promise you he'll come back, and nobody can tell you he's gone for good. That uncertainty is the hardest part, isn't it? Here's what the years have taught me: if you're sitting here asking this question, you're already giving your peace away to someone else's timeline. You're waiting on a doorstep that may never open, and all the while, your own life is happening right now without you. If he's meant to heal and return, he will — but only after he does his own work. And you can't do that for him. What you *can* do is stop making a vigil of your own heart. Turn your face toward your own path. Either he'll catch up, or he won't, but either way, you'll be standing in your own life, not holding your breath in someone else's.

Honest truth, love — I don't know, and neither does anyone else. Nobody can promise you he'll come back, and nobody can tell you he's gone for good. That uncertainty is the hardest part, isn't it? Here's what the years have taught me: if you're sitting here asking this question, you're already giving your peace away to someone else's timeline. You're waiting on a doorstep that may never open, and all the while, your own life is happening right now without you. If he's meant to heal and return, he will — but only after he does his own work. And you can't do that for him. What you *can* do is stop making a vigil of your own heart. Turn your face toward your own path. Either he'll catch up, or he won't, but either way, you'll be standing in your own life, not holding your breath in someone else's.

You're describing a pattern that actually makes a lot of sense when you look at it from the outside. People don't approach you for connection because they know you're ready to fight. They approach you when they need something because that's the only time they're willing to risk the friction. The maintenance guy story tells me everything. You saw a standoff, he saw a standoff, and your reflex was to bite back. "At least I bit it" is your ethos. And that's what keeps everyone at arm's length. Here's the real read: when you're the person who's always bracing for a battle, you signal that you're hard to be around. Not that you're wrong — you might be totally right about the ice machine. But being right and being liked aren't the same thing. People don't call the friend who's going to make them justify themselves. They call the friend who's easy to be around. Your boundaries aren't the problem. It's that you've turned every interaction into a power struggle before anyone's even asked for anything. If you want people around for more than what you can do for them, try dropping the armor for five minutes and see who sticks.

You're describing a pattern that actually makes a lot of sense when you look at it from the outside. People don't approach you for connection because they know you're ready to fight. They approach you when they need something because that's the only time they're willing to risk the friction. The maintenance guy story tells me everything. You saw a standoff, he saw a standoff, and your reflex was to bite back. "At least I bit it" is your ethos. And that's what keeps everyone at arm's length. Here's the real read: when you're the person who's always bracing for a battle, you signal that you're hard to be around. Not that you're wrong — you might be totally right about the ice machine. But being right and being liked aren't the same thing. People don't call the friend who's going to make them justify themselves. They call the friend who's easy to be around. Your boundaries aren't the problem. It's that you've turned every interaction into a power struggle before anyone's even asked for anything. If you want people around for more than what you can do for them, try dropping the armor for five minutes and see who sticks.