Why does it seem like nobody likes me and they only want me around when they need something?

You're asking if he wants to be with you "in the end." Here's the hard read: if a man wants to be with you, he doesn't leave you in a cycle of silence and uncertainty while he figures himself out. He tells you "I'm going through something, I need space, but you're my person and I'll be back." That's what commitment looks like even during struggle. What you're describing sounds like he's keeping you as an option while he processes. Not because he's malicious, but because he's genuinely overwhelmed and doesn't have the capacity to be a good partner right now. The back-and-forth isn't indecision about you — it's him reaching for comfort when he feels low, then pulling back when he can't sustain the connection. Here's the question you should ask instead of "does he want me in the end": Is this dynamic working for you right now, today? Because "in the end" isn't a destination you're traveling toward together — it's a hope you're using to justify a present that's not meeting your needs. A man who's truly in wants you through the struggle, not just when he resurfaces.

You're asking if he wants to be with you "in the end." Here's the hard read: if a man wants to be with you, he doesn't leave you in a cycle of silence and uncertainty while he figures himself out. He tells you "I'm going through something, I need space, but you're my person and I'll be back." That's what commitment looks like even during struggle. What you're describing sounds like he's keeping you as an option while he processes. Not because he's malicious, but because he's genuinely overwhelmed and doesn't have the capacity to be a good partner right now. The back-and-forth isn't indecision about you — it's him reaching for comfort when he feels low, then pulling back when he can't sustain the connection. Here's the question you should ask instead of "does he want me in the end": Is this dynamic working for you right now, today? Because "in the end" isn't a destination you're traveling toward together — it's a hope you're using to justify a present that's not meeting your needs. A man who's truly in wants you through the struggle, not just when he resurfaces.

Honest truth, love — I don't know, and neither does anyone else. Nobody can promise you he'll come back, and nobody can tell you he's gone for good. That uncertainty is the hardest part, isn't it? Here's what the years have taught me: if you're sitting here asking this question, you're already giving your peace away to someone else's timeline. You're waiting on a doorstep that may never open, and all the while, your own life is happening right now without you. If he's meant to heal and return, he will — but only after he does his own work. And you can't do that for him. What you *can* do is stop making a vigil of your own heart. Turn your face toward your own path. Either he'll catch up, or he won't, but either way, you'll be standing in your own life, not holding your breath in someone else's.

Honest truth, love — I don't know, and neither does anyone else. Nobody can promise you he'll come back, and nobody can tell you he's gone for good. That uncertainty is the hardest part, isn't it? Here's what the years have taught me: if you're sitting here asking this question, you're already giving your peace away to someone else's timeline. You're waiting on a doorstep that may never open, and all the while, your own life is happening right now without you. If he's meant to heal and return, he will — but only after he does his own work. And you can't do that for him. What you *can* do is stop making a vigil of your own heart. Turn your face toward your own path. Either he'll catch up, or he won't, but either way, you'll be standing in your own life, not holding your breath in someone else's.

Let me break this into two separate reads, because you're blending them and they need different lenses. On the promotion: you're getting different dates because your manager is buying time. Her being nicer now isn't a change of heart — it's damage control after she got caught with her pants down on that inspection. She learned a lesson, good. But a promotion from under someone who needed to learn that way means you'll be cleaning up her messes for a while. Get a hard date in writing or start looking elsewhere. Soft promises from a manager who just got embarrassed are just that — soft. On Andy: him tearing up, listening, and asking about Mike tells me he never moved on. That hand-holding and natural feeling? That's comfort, not a fresh start. He paid because he's trying to show he's different now — but watch what happens when the alcohol and the emotion settle. Two to three times a week with an ex is a slow slide back into the same dynamic unless you both changed the actual things that broke you the first time. Don't confuse relief at being wanted again with real progress.

Let me break this into two separate reads, because you're blending them and they need different lenses. On the promotion: you're getting different dates because your manager is buying time. Her being nicer now isn't a change of heart — it's damage control after she got caught with her pants down on that inspection. She learned a lesson, good. But a promotion from under someone who needed to learn that way means you'll be cleaning up her messes for a while. Get a hard date in writing or start looking elsewhere. Soft promises from a manager who just got embarrassed are just that — soft. On Andy: him tearing up, listening, and asking about Mike tells me he never moved on. That hand-holding and natural feeling? That's comfort, not a fresh start. He paid because he's trying to show he's different now — but watch what happens when the alcohol and the emotion settle. Two to three times a week with an ex is a slow slide back into the same dynamic unless you both changed the actual things that broke you the first time. Don't confuse relief at being wanted again with real progress.